Peaceful summer moments
Night hikes, car-denias and gentle acts of care
Last week, my boys and I were playing pickleball at the community park. We’d had dinner and the sun was low. It was evening, but I had no idea about the time. Was it 7:00 pm? 7:45? Did they need a shower? Ocean saltwater counts, right? Really though, when did they last bathe?
What a gift to be that unaware.
For years I’ve read stories about summertime, of leisurely days and long evenings. During vacations, I’ve dipped into that pace, but never submerged for the season. Parenting while working is always a grind, but summer demands even more sacrifice. Routines are largely unchanged. Morning meetings don’t care that the sky is purple, and this time Mom is begging for ten more minutes outside.
“It’s Complicated,” is the best way to describe my current employment. Unnerving, yes, but also uncharacteristically slow. Quiet. A summer with more empty space than ever before.
When I close out of LinkedIn, the NYT app, and the internal voice that screams BUT WHAT ABOUT YOUR JOB, I can tune into my actual, current summer. The contrast between my fear-driven career doubts and the life before me is striking.
Because here, in actual life, is a real summer.
Daily ice cream. The breeze off the Bay. Watering my tomato plants.
Slow mornings with my sons.
Pajamas until 9 am.
Peace.
A few other moments bringing me peace during this strange summer of contrasts:
READING- Finally!
This feels like a no-brainer, but for me, it’s a huge relief. Not sure what happened,1 but lately, I lost my reading flow. My reading rut was ROUGH.
Until….
What a relief to devour a book! I love everything Curtis Sittenfeld and theses short stories are GOLD. Hoping to maintain this momentum.2
Night Hikes
More accurately, sunset hikes. After spending the last eight years basically bedtime-locked from 7 pm on, I missed thousands of stunning summer evenings. With a few nights a week to myself, I’ve started hiking at sunset. It is magical.
My bike!
My clunky, bright-yellow used bike is an eye-sore and I love it so much. I finally got it fixed after months of non-use and wow, what a peaceful joy a bike ride is. Even better, a bike ride by the water. Pure bliss.
Car-denias and Gentle Acts of Care
Of the many hopes that I have for my boys, paramount to me is that they care. I hope they observe other people’s needs and show up. As I navigate raising them, I’m tuning into the gentle acts of care I notice in other men.3
I recently visited my best friend Casey. As I was getting out of his pool, his husband Todd rushed over to the edge, “hold on, I have a towel for you,” he said, opening it. Something about him noticing and bringing the towel just a few feet closer so I would feel warm and held, moved me.
The other day, I was driving and had a strange interaction with another car (nothing noteworthy, just lane changing confusion). As I pulled up to the light, the car pulled next to me. The driver motioned to my window. I immediately assumed the worst. He’s going to call me out on my driving, I thought annoyed.
My window down, he said, “I’m so sorry. That was wrong. I was driving too fast.” His look of sincere reflection left an impression.
And just this weekend, as I was packing up my car to drive back to Northern California, my dad arranged two beautiful gardenia arrangements to keep me company on the ride.
When I notice these acts of care, they bring me peace that my sons will one day be noticers, too.
Summer 2025, in general
So far, even with…everything…I’m just feeling so grateful for Summer 2025. At this time, last year, I was sleeping 18 hours a day and had just shaved my head for Chemo #2. So! To be awake and keeping up with these two boys, well, that is a gift I am grateful for each summer evening.
This week, I joined my writing group, and , in writing about peace. I can’t wait to read what they wrote and continue adding to my list!
Lol, maybe it’s the traumatic job loss, maybe it’s a 2024 hangover.
Somehow, I’ve never read Bel Canto (?!?!?!). Just checked it out and crossing fingers!
One of my favorite writers wrote a stunning essay about observing a moment of vulnerability with her male friends. Reading her words encouraged me to tune into these moments, too.
I loved reading this ❤️. I just learned the rules of pickleball, and now I’ve been begging my kids to practice with me. It’s been so much fun!
Sunset hikes! Pickleball! Bike rides! 😍 so much to love in this post. I’m glad to hear you’re experiencing peace, friend.